“Some people think the world is made of atoms …but I think the world is made of stories” - Floating Eagle Feather (American Indian Storyteller)
Stories are one of the most powerful connection tools that we, as parents, can have. It teaches us about life, ourselves, and others. Whether we realize it or not, stories that we hold in our head impact everything we do. In a similar way, the stories that our children hold onto also shape their behavior and experience.
Children have an innate love for stories. The more we kindle children’s imagination with stories, the more we enable them to imagine what they want in their world and work towards creating it.
The sheer joy, magic, and curiosity that stories invoke in all of us can be powerful. Like play and art, storytelling is an essential tool every parent should aspire to have, and it can also help parents in many ways. I have listed some of them below:
Stories for connection: Memories are created from stories. Whether you are sharing a story from a book, a story from your childhood, or a story from your child’s early childhood, you are actively forming pleasant memories and strengthening connection with your child. Just a simple act of sitting next to each other and sharing stories deeply enriches the connection between you and your child.
Stories for transition: Transition can be simple such as a child coming from school to home (i.e. transitioning between two spaces) or it can be as challenging as moving schools, welcoming a sibling, moving cities leaving their current life & friends behind. Stories are a great way to ease a child into transition.
For instance, when we were planning to move from Mumbai to Pune, my friend recommended that I help my child through this transition with a story. I started telling my daughter a story a few weeks before moving out. It was a simple story about birds and how they leave one tree to settle in the next one. She would ask many questions (Is the other tree more colorful or better? Do the birds get food? Do lions attack them? Do they have friends? etc.). Once she had asked all her questions, she wanted to hear new stories. I stopped this bird story & even forgot about it after a few days. She didn’t come back to this story either.
However, I could see that she was smooth with her transition of moving from Mumbai to Pune (even when she faced exclusion and a few other challenges after we moved to Pune). I didn’t even know if she remembered the bird story and whether it had any impact on her until a month after our move when she made a passing comment, “I like our new tree, Mama!”. It was totally out of the blue & I was amazed!
Stories to address challenging behavior: In her book, titled “Therapeutic Storytelling”, Susan Perrow shares that gentle, child-friendly stories that are respectful of a child’s experience can have the power to transform a child’s challenging behavior. She also adds that in addressing what we regard as ‘challenging behavior’, it is vital to enter imaginatively into the child’s own experience rather than externally imposing a moral code in the form of ‘cautionary tales’ i.e. working through the fear of consequences. This approach would give the child an opportunity to change their behavior from within and hence, it could be more effective as opposed to merely conforming to ‘external standards’.
Stories for Healing: Stories can invoke a range of emotions within all of us. Feeling these emotions, staying with them, and processing them can be healing for many. Stories have the capacity to touch our hearts and, in a way, connecting with our heart can be therapeutic. We could have specific stories that can help heal specific situations. We could have stories that heal generations and communities altogether.
For instance, when I read “Paper Dolls” by Julia Donaldson to my daughter, it healed me from the feeling of ‘helplessness’ that I felt for a long time when things close to my heart were taken away from me.
Again, the book “Therapeutic Storytelling” by Susan Perrow is a great resource if you want to understand the healing power of stories.
Stories invoke our consciousness, conscience, and connect us as all. Stories promote a sense of well-being, a child’s willingness to communicate thoughts and feelings, enhance their listening skills. Stories can empower children to speak their mind, take actions, inspire their imagination, help them face challenges, develop self-esteem, build their imagination, and most importantly, have fun being in their magical world. When you share stories with each other, it strengthens your connection as a family and connect with each other with your whole heart.
(Edited by Juhi Ramaiya)
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