In project management, there is a concept called SMART goals that stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound. These 5 areas together help in making the underlined goal actionable.
Based on the concept of “SMART”, I would define SMART communication with the child as something that clearly states our expectations from them in an instance (specific), what is the outcome expected of them (measurable), whether the task is doable (achievable), the request made matches the skills a child might at their age (achievable), the time of completion of the task is clear (time-bound).
Let’s look at an example of how a SMART communication works.
Scenario 1: You walk into your child's (Rahul a 4-year old) room and it's in a state of mess.
Non-SMART communication: “Rahul! Clean your room now and join us for dinner.”
SMART communication:
“Can you collect all the toys on the floor and put it in the yellow basket? And join us for dinner in the next 15 minutes? Do you want Papa to be with you when you do this?”
In the latter, we see that the goals are clearly communicated.
“Can you collect all the toys on the floor and put it in the yellow basket? (Specific, Measurable)
And join us for dinner in the next 15 minutes?” (Time-bound)
Do you want Papa to be with you when you do this?” (Achievable, Realistic)
When a child is 4 years of age or below, they prefer having their parents around when they have to carry out tasks.
Here’s another example.
Scenario 2:
Mahi (A 10-year-old) comes back from school and tells you that she came third in her drawing competition.
Non-SMART communication: “Well done, Mahi! You've made me proud.”
SMART communication: “Can you show me the drawing you made?” (Specific)
(Mahi shows you her drawing excitedly)
“I love the way you have used the blue and green colours. The lines are defined. The steadiness of your hand is impressive. I can see that the three months of practice in art class are paying off. I'm proud of what you have achieved.”
(You both hug)
In the second example, as you would notice, not all aspects of SMART is covered. Even using one aspect (i.e. being Specific) intentionally can be powerful.
SMART communication brings clarity and is one of the most effective ways to connect with your child. This one skill alone can make your parenting effort significantly easier!
(Edited by Juhi Ramaiya)
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